If you meet someone who has a grill, a wide array of chains around his neck, rings on his fingers or a fancy cane.

If your guy is over 21, still sagging and only dresses like entertainers.

If he puts the majority of his money (or yours) on his car, you will always be a sloppy second.

If he introduces himself as Big Daddy, Ice, or Dr Something, walk away.

If he tells you he has six kids with five different women and loves making babies.

If a big part of his day is standing by his car “people watching,” that’s code for jobless.

If he carries a large wad of bills and always flashes it, it’s probably more singles than big bills.

If he stares at you across a crowded room and licks his lips continually as he undresses you with his eyes, he’s not looking for a wife, just a play date.

If your first thought when you see him is “he’ll make pretty babies,” you ain’t ready.

If he introduces himself as “Uncle ” somebody to your children; it won’t end well,

If he demands more attention, the most attention, or to be taken care of BEFORE you tend to your kids, you’ll always shortchange your kids—who came before him.

If he dresses like an older version of your kids he’s not a man mentally, keep dreaming as you walk away.

If you take him home and the hair on your dog (hackles) raises, leave him at the DOO’.

If you’re religious and he’s not, you may be able to balance that. If you’re religious and he mocks your religious views, he’s testing to see if you’ll worship him first. Step away.

If he’s a laborer and is an honest man, he’s a catch even though you’re an executive somewhere. Don’t underestimate his worth or value.

If he has no ambition to be more than he is and a good life is hanging with his buds, beer, tinkering with his car, and fantasy football there’s no room for you.

If he only introduces himself by his “street name,” and you’re looking for love, you might want to reassess your relationship requirements.

If you ask him where does he see himself in five years and doesn’t mention you, you’re not in his plans for a future; leave… now.

If he always has to be somewhere else during the holidays and doesn’t include you, his real Boo ain’t you.

If he walks through a door first, he thinks of himself first even though he may hold it open to let you enter behind him.

If he admits his job is his first priority and works more hours than he relaxes, you won’t change that. If you need more–let it go.

If he disrespects you in front of his friends, or yours, and pretends he’s joking, he’s not. He’s showing you who he really is and you don’t matter. Believe him.

If you’re new in a relationship with him but he shows jealousy of your relationship with your kids, walk. Fast.

If he is always looking at his watch, texting, or answering his phone (but he’s not on-call medical staff) and he just met you, you will not change him just because you came into his life.

If you walk into a bar, club, or bar/club combo and all the wait staff know him by name it’s his lair and you’re just the newest catch.

If you talked for “hours” at your first meeting or on your first date and he makes a mistake on your name, he’s got too many in his mind to keep track of correctly, you’re not that important.

If all he talks about is his ex, he’s not ready for you. Don’t force him. When he’s ready and he wants you, he’ll find you.

If education is important to you and he talks in a way that keeps you correcting him, you’re emasculating him and he won’t take much of it. If it’s that important to you, YOU change your hunting grounds by going to places where educated men hang out.

If you’re half-stepping but require a man who’s more advanced, you’re overreaching. YOU grow before expecting someone else to “complete” you.

Taking men home for a one nighter, or hoping it will turn into more when you have kids (especially boys) will destroy your kids over time.

Love at first sight is a Hollywood myth created for mental romance. Attraction is what draws you to another person, love is a CHOICE that follows.

 

9/25/15