When you have clues to keep looking:
If you meet someone who has a grill, a wide array of chains around his neck, rings on his fingers, or a fancy cane, he ain’t about you, boo-boo.
If your guy is over 21, but still sagging and/or only dresses like entertainers, keep looking.
If his mother calls and he ignores her or cusses her out when he answers, he’s going to treat you similarly at some point. Reevaluate before becoming intimate.
If he puts the majority of his money (or yours) on his car every payday, you will always be a sloppy seconds, find your way out the door.
If he introduces himself as Big Daddy, Ice, or Dr Anything, walk away.
If he tells you he has six kids with five different women and loves making babies, it ain’t your time in his life, sweetie. He’s got a quota to meet and you are only a means to get to it.
If one of you isn’t ready for kids and the other is, each of you need to keep looking for a mate that has the same goals. Don’t write to Dr. Phil asking if you should stay in the relationship or have a surprise baby to get your way.
If a big part of his day is standing by his car “people watching,” that’s code for jobless, pretend you didn’t even see him.
If he grabs his penis as he catches your eye, he disrespects you as a thinking woman and only sees you as a sex object. If you choose to begin a relationship with this as a beginning, look forward to a lot of competition.
If he can’t dance without grabbing his crotch, he’s insecure and knows nothing about women. Walk on.
If he demands that you put him on your bank account or credit card, but never puts money in or pay on the card, walk faster.
If he carries a large wad of bills and always flashes it, it’s probably more singles than big bills, but he’s all about show and as soon as the tarnish shows in your relationship, he’s off to someone shinier than you.
If he stares at you across a crowded room and licks his lips continually as he undresses you with his eyes, he’s not looking for a wife, just a playmate for the night.
If he introduces himself as “Uncle ” somebody to your children, listen to the danger signals your brain is giving off. Walk away.
If he demands more attention, the most attention, or to be taken care of BEFORE you tend to the needs of your kids, this will not change except to get worse. Leave now before you become invested.
If he dresses like an older version of your kids, he’s not a man mentally, keep dreaming as you walk away.
If you take him home and the hair on your dog (hackles) raises, leave him at the DOO’.
If you’re religious and he’s not, you may be able to balance that. If you’re religious and he mocks your religious views, he’s testing to see if you’ll worship him first. Step away.
If he’s a laborer and is an honest man, he’s a catch even though you’re an executive somewhere. If he hasn’t worked enough to even develop a résumé, don’t cry later when you can’t make him work.
If he considers welfare good enough to take care of you both, and you buy into that concept, don’t have children. Neither of you are mature enough to procreate.
If he has no ambition to be more than he is and his idea of a good life is hanging with his buds, beer, and fantasy football there’s no room for you. This will not change.
If you ask him where he sees himself in five years and doesn’t mention you, you’re not in his plans for a future. Do NOT question him about whether or not he MEANT to mention you, understand that in his subconscious you don’t even rate in future dreams.
If he always has to be somewhere else during the holidays and doesn’t include you, his real Boo ain’t you.
If he walks through a door first, he thinks of himself first even though he may hold it open to let you enter behind him. He’s showing you at the outset who he is, believe him.
If he admits his job is his first priority and works more hours than he relaxes, you won’t change that, and if that’s important to you let it go.
If he disrespects you in front of his friends, or your family and friends, and pretends he’s joking, he’s not. He’s showing you who he really is and you don’t matter. Believe him.
If you’re new in a relationship with him but he shows jealousy of your relationship with your kids, walk on.
If he is always looking at his watch, texting, or answering his phone (but he’s not on-call medical staff) and he just met you, you will not change him just because you came into his life. So don’t get huffy about who he’s texting, you might get hurt.
If you walk into a bar, club, or bar/club combo and all the wait staff know him by name it’s his lair and you’re just the newest catch.
If you talked for “hours” at your first meeting or on your first date and he makes a mistake on your name, he’s got too many in his mind to keep track of correctly, you’re not that important.
If education is important to you and he talks in a way that you’re correcting him, you’re emasculating him and he won’t take much of it. If it’s that important to you, YOU change your hunting grounds by going to places where educated men hang out.
If you’re the one in the relationship who’s half-stepping but require a man who’s more advanced, you’re overreaching. YOU grow before expecting someone else to “complete” you.
If you spend more time working on the wedding and not the marriage, or can’t see the difference between those two, you’re not ready. Go back to daydreaming, cutting pictures out of wedding books, and adopting more cats. You are not ready. Let HIM keep walking.
If you expect someone to “complete” you, you are, by default, incomplete as a person and should not be in any relationship. Complete yourself. Work on yourself so that you will be able to stand alone if something happens to your mate.
If he ever hits you, no matter what you said, did or did not do, do not—DO NOT say it’s your fault for baiting him. This is a line a real man would never cross. Don’t let that drama play out in your home, especially in front of your kids.
If he walks into your kids’ lives and instantly wants to be the one to discipline them and you let him, you are the one at fault for causing them harm. Leave before you get so enmeshed you can’t see your way out.
If your first thought when you see him is “he’ll make pretty babies,” YOU ain’t ready, babe, leave him alone if he’s not ready.
Repeat after me until this phrase becomes your mantra: A baby will NOT fix a bad relationship. A baby will NOT fix a bad relationship.
If you know he’s been seeing someone other than you, a surprise baby will NOT bring him closer, it will only give you something more to fight about. You will not win this and your baby (babies) will suffer dearly. Fix it at the beginning by leaving before pregnancy results.
Taking men home for a one nighter, or hoping it will turn into more when you have kids (especially boys) will destroy your kids over time, don’t invest the time doing that.
Love at first sight is a Hollywood myth created for mental romance. Attraction is what draws you TO another person; love is a CHOICE that follows.